citibank’s gender fail

09/13/2010 § 1 Comment

see citibank HR memo and the list below via jezebel. needless to say, its gross and absurdly patronizing.  in addition to being the neoliberal architects of our evil empire (citibank chairman robert rubin et al*), citibank’s gender sex sensibilities seem about as evolved as a 1960s ad agency.  i dont know how widely circulated it was, but for something so flagrant to end up as an actual correspondence is scary / revealing.  citibank outrageously places the responsibility for sexist exclusion onto women instead of the men who benefit from these tropes.

‘the masters tools can never be used to dismantle the master’s house’ – audre lourde

Jezebel’s parody comments:

This list of “helpful” “tips” for female employees was reportedly distributed to the entire HR department at Citibank. After the jump, we add some of our own ideas for how silly ladies fail to get ahead.

1. Women tend to have two X chromosomes — you are not heard.

2. Women menstruate in public — emphasizes your femininity and deemphasizes your capability.

3. Women sit vaginally — the power position when seated at a table is to have a penis.

4. Wear panties in meetings — boxer-wearers are seen as more assertive and knowledgeable than those in lacy underthings.

5. Women have wombs — children come out of wombs. Men don’t reproduce, they conquer.

6. Ovulate — women ovulate at the smallest provocation which erodes your self-confidence. Men tend to move into sperm producing mode.

7. Women tend to smile inappropriately — an “inappropriate” smile is a smile that is on a woman’s face.

8. Observe “Rules” — rules are made to be broken by men. When women break them, it is a violation of workplace culture. When women follow them, it is self-sabotage. To be safe, avoid being a woman whenever possible.

9. Being invisible — 90% of adult humans are unable to visually perceive women. Solution: wear a bear suit.

10. Offer a female handshake — the best way to combat this is to have a man’s hand transplanted onto your wrist. Or purchase a giant foam hand at a sports stadium. These are very masculine and you are sure to be taken extremely seriously while wearing one.

Citibank’s Advice To Women: Grow A Pair [Easily Amused]

Read more:

*robert rubin, citi group chairman, goldman sachs c0-chairman, and US treasury secretary under clinton spawned > larry summers, next treasury secretary, harvard president and obama’s chief economic adviser > tim geithner, undersecretaries for rubin & summers, and current obama US treasury secretary et al

**its no news that women still make $.80 to a man’s $1 for equivalent work, but at the highest levels of concentrated power, the disparities are even more severe.  a recent study exposes the disparities in wages, retention, partner and equity status for women in elite law firms despite being 50%+ of top law school graduates for the last 2 decades.


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